The Case of Coat Girl

CASE 178892:
COAT GIRL

I must warn you that this case is one of the odd and weird. Some of you might not believe the strange case of coat girl.
The case begins as thus:

It all started innocently enough. I was going to learn how to ski this winter and my mother found my present winter coat insufficient; so she bought me a new one. It was a very nice coat, I do admit. It's mainly crimson red with a beige and heather grey/navy lines running down the side and sleeves. It was quite warm, being down feather and puffy. Your average winter coat, produced with that material that makes that whoosy sound when you move your arm.A very nice coat.

But it wasn't til school started up again after Christmas Break that the case truly began. It all started, I do believe walking into school from the buses that first week back. On the way to my locker, I followed behind a girl who, I soon noticed with dismay, had the same coat as me. I pointed this out to my friends who were dutifully waiting for me by my locker (it's what I pay them for, after all). They didn't seem to care. I didn't think or care too much about it then. It's only a coat and I'm not spoiled or vain enough to be upset with having the same coat as someone else (it could be worse, I could shop at Ambercrombie and look like every other drone in my school).Besides, as we did just walk in from the outside, it made perfect sense for her to be wearing a coat (I was).

But that is not where this case ends. A few days later, either on or someday around my birthday, I saw the girl again. Let me take this time to describe "Coat Girl". I have yet to learn her name, but she has long, straight brown hair and is what appears to be thin (it is, after all, hard to see her figure, due to the...)I would guess her to be a sophomore or perhaps a junior. Now, back to the story. I was walking down the hall and I saw her in the coat. At the time, I just figured she must have had an early dismissal and had put on her coat on the way to the office.

Then one day, I started to become suspicious. I was standing in the cafeteria next to the microwave, innocently nuking my Easy Mac, when I saw her. In the cafeteria... in the lunch line... with a tray...in the coat. I do admit, the cafeteria can be quite cold with the glass side wall. But everyone else suffices with a sweatshirt...why a coat?

And that was not the end to it. I saw her in the halls on the way to the gym. By lockers. And today, it was the library. Just standing in line with friends with a big, bulky, winter coat on.

Now, I admit I have no authority on what people should or should not wear. I am a huge believer in personal freedoms and you should be able to wear whatever you want. And who am I to judge this girl? Perhaps she has some physical condition htat does not allow blood to flow properly and causes this girl not to create her own body warmth (I think I have this as well). If so, then WEAR SOME SWEATERS!!! It's called layering, cami, thermal, t-shirt, sweater, blazer/jacket. Actually, very in style.

Another theory is just that the school is very cold. This is quite true, as everywhere you go there seems to be huge windows sucking in the winter air. In September. I'm always freezing. Everyone is. But everyone then wears a sweatshirt. As my lovely friend Hannah points out, her sister, a very pretty, talented and smart senior, wore her coat in school one or two days. I have no problem with this, after all, it is one day, perhaps with no sweater available, and her coat is tiny and adorable. She does not wear it everyday in EVERY SINGLE CLASS! Plus, she will wear it zipped down. "Coat girl" wears hers zipped up ALL THE WAY TO HER NECK!!

There is also the theory that perhaps situations in her life have previously not allowed her to have a winter coat and now she is overcompensating. If so, I have nothing but sympathy and respect for her situation in life and that now she has perhaps caught a break, but is it that necessary?

I really don't mean to be mean or catty or indifferent. But, besides the fact that I believe wearing outer clothing like a coat is against the rules in schools, just as you may not wear a hat because it is not professional and disrespectful, I just want to know...HOW DOES SHE FUNCTION?

I couldn't imagine going through everyday with that big bulky thing. Every time you move, to grab a pencil, shift in your chair, you make that whooshy sound! What about when you raise your hand to ask or answer a question? You have that big bloated, heavy arm in the air! What about just sitting and writing an essay, your arm sitting three inches above the desk due to the down feather stuffing! It would be like having to function all day like Ralphie's brother in "A Christmas Story".

And what happens when she goes to get a job? Or has to go to, god forbid, a funeral? Or a wedding? Will she continue to wear a coat.
So, I don't mean to be mean or judgemental. But if this happens to be your friend, try to get her to just wear a sweater. I'm worried about her well being and that her progress in school is being compromised.

And I'm this close to buying her a sweater.

Thus ends the case....
For now.